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spaceneedleLast week we saw how confusing, vague and conflicting messaging can sink your online marketing pitch. What’s the answer? Straightforward, clear, to-the-point messaging!

Compare this week’s photo with last week’s. Here’s a reminder of last week’s:
fog-spaceneedle

This week’s photo is the same shot on a clear day. NOW it’s recognizable!

Our goal is to do the same thing with our marketing copy. So let’s rewrite our confusing copy from last week into something that will get results.

At ABC Gizmos, we provide solutions to some of the biggest challenges facing businesses today. Our unique, patented technology allows you, your family, or your business to increase productivity while decreasing costs. We’ve refined our products over the last seven years to bring you the very best.

Here is a much better version.

Tired of clunky, memory-intensive VOIP programs delivering poor audio, choppy video, and endless signal delays?

How much money is lost during these unproductive conference calls?

Install our business class ABC Gizmos application today and streamline your video meetings. Finish your meetings quicker and get back to work sooner.

What’s your reaction to this? Right away you see what they’re selling and what you can expect from their product. If you’re in the market for a better VOIP application, you’ll probably keep reading, or even pull out the wallet and make a purchase.

What Went Right

1. Specific pain points

The very first thing this copy brings up is the customer’s pain around VOIP solutions that don’t perform well. Remember that people buy based on either pleasure or pain, and avoiding pain is the more motivating of the two.

2. Clearly defined target market

It’s obvious that this product is aimed at businesses who need a better video conferencing tool. If you’re one of these, you know you’ve come to the right place; if you’re not, you probably wouldn’t have stumbled upon this site in the first place.

3. Detailed results

There’s no guessing involved here as to what the product will deliver. “What are they selling?” is never in question, nor is “how will this benefit me?”

4. Focusing on the customer

Not once does this copy talk about themselves. The only mention of their name is at the end, when they’re at the point of offering their product as the best solution to your needs.


The lesson from all of this is: be clear, concise, and specific in your marketing.

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